I fell alseep with the TV on, and it woke me up at about 4am. I think I was dreaming right before I woke up, but when I woke up I sat up and looked over at Merlin who was beside me. I watched him for a second and didn't see him take a breath. I reached over real quick and put my hand on his neck and it was cold. I then pressed down a little with my hand and he felt stiff. I immediately jumped out of bed and ran to Paul, who was in the garage watching movies (he keeps his night job schedule on nights off), I told him to come here quick, and I started bawling tell him, its Merlin, hes dead. He said are you f*ing with me, and saw I was not kidding, so he ran into the room. I just kept thinking all these thoughts, how he had been sick a couple days ago, and I thought a cob of corn was stuck in his stomach, but that I thought he had felt better, and that he passed in his sleep from it, I also thought about how lonely it would be without him, and just sobbing, and sobbing still standing in the garage. About 20 seconds later I hear Paul run back saying Amanda, Amanda, hes fine, hes fine. I asked him, how he knew, and he said he was just sleeping really deep, and he shook him and he woke up, and he told me to come look, I said I don't know, cause I couldn't believe it, but I followed him back into our room where Merlin was looking around all tired, but very much alive. I still cried a little more, but then Paul started to laugh at me, and I giggled a bit for not shaking him harder. Oh Paul laughed hard, but I could only giggle about it, because I know someday that feeling will be real and one day he will be gone.... but not today thank god!!!!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
What the Heck?! I though Merlin Had passed
I fell alseep with the TV on, and it woke me up at about 4am. I think I was dreaming right before I woke up, but when I woke up I sat up and looked over at Merlin who was beside me. I watched him for a second and didn't see him take a breath. I reached over real quick and put my hand on his neck and it was cold. I then pressed down a little with my hand and he felt stiff. I immediately jumped out of bed and ran to Paul, who was in the garage watching movies (he keeps his night job schedule on nights off), I told him to come here quick, and I started bawling tell him, its Merlin, hes dead. He said are you f*ing with me, and saw I was not kidding, so he ran into the room. I just kept thinking all these thoughts, how he had been sick a couple days ago, and I thought a cob of corn was stuck in his stomach, but that I thought he had felt better, and that he passed in his sleep from it, I also thought about how lonely it would be without him, and just sobbing, and sobbing still standing in the garage. About 20 seconds later I hear Paul run back saying Amanda, Amanda, hes fine, hes fine. I asked him, how he knew, and he said he was just sleeping really deep, and he shook him and he woke up, and he told me to come look, I said I don't know, cause I couldn't believe it, but I followed him back into our room where Merlin was looking around all tired, but very much alive. I still cried a little more, but then Paul started to laugh at me, and I giggled a bit for not shaking him harder. Oh Paul laughed hard, but I could only giggle about it, because I know someday that feeling will be real and one day he will be gone.... but not today thank god!!!!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
got to hear lil bean's heartbeat - 9 weeks 1 day
I finally found my lil bean's heartbeat today on our home doppler!
I had to record it, and I am sharing it too, on video, its 22 seconds long.
it took me forever to find. but once I found it I did it again pretty easy.. so funny I was showing my girls, and couldnt find it, but as soon as I heard it, I said "there it is" and 2 seconds later my Paul came up and said something funny, I had NO idea Paul was there, I think lil bean knew his/her daddy was there, coming to say "hi" to him, lol.. playing a hiding baby for mommy though!!
I had to record it, and I am sharing it too, on video, its 22 seconds long.
it took me forever to find. but once I found it I did it again pretty easy.. so funny I was showing my girls, and couldnt find it, but as soon as I heard it, I said "there it is" and 2 seconds later my Paul came up and said something funny, I had NO idea Paul was there, I think lil bean knew his/her daddy was there, coming to say "hi" to him, lol.. playing a hiding baby for mommy though!!
Monday, May 3, 2010
New room!
In prep for #3, I decided to move the girl's into their "playroom" and have ALL of their things in one room. I got them bunk beds as to make room for their Ikea Expedit shelves, which holds and organizes their toys. I love this thing for their toys, it keeps all the like items together and makes specific toys easier to find.
I am keeping the separate twin frames when they grow out of their toys we can move or get rid of the ikea shelves and they can have their own beds again.
I have not started working on the other room, it just has the twin bed, a shelve and a dresser in it for now. I will work on it as I get further along, and figure out what this lil one is, and what decor we want. We will also be looking for an inexpensive crib in the meantime, hope to find a decent dark wood one, and a mattress.
here are some pics
I am keeping the separate twin frames when they grow out of their toys we can move or get rid of the ikea shelves and they can have their own beds again.
I have not started working on the other room, it just has the twin bed, a shelve and a dresser in it for now. I will work on it as I get further along, and figure out what this lil one is, and what decor we want. We will also be looking for an inexpensive crib in the meantime, hope to find a decent dark wood one, and a mattress.
here are some pics
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